Shipping is free when you order 2 or more candles! (As long as you live in the US or are willing to relocate here.)

Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle
Lump of Coal Candle

Lump of Coal Candle

Regular price
$14.00
Sale price
$14.00
Quantity must be 1 or more

There are a lot of things you can mail to people that say, “Oh man, I think you really messed up this year.” But many, unlike this candle, cost more than $14.

Our lump-of-coal-candle is modeled after a real lump of coal that we bought online (where did people buy coal before the internet??) It has a faint woodsmoke scent, because people told us it should have a scent. And it will burn for approximately 90 minutes, which may or may not be similar to the burn time of a real lump of coal. (We didn’t try burning any coal while designing this candle, because of the so-called “Earth.”)

Just pick one of our pre-written gift messages, or type in your own, if you think you can write a better one than us. (Good luck!)

Finally, please keep in mind that we thought about calling this a “coaldle” instead of a lump-of-coal candle. So when the person you bought it for says, “umm, thanks?” you can say, “you’re welcome, it’s a coaldle.”

P.S. Here’s a tip: Why not really drive the point home by filling their entire stocking with a couple dozen lump-of-coal candles???