FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE 2020-SCENTED CANDLE
Q: Does it actually smell like a dumpster fire?
A: Technically, it smells like dirt. (Literally. The scent of dirt. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!)
Q: Even though it’s a 2020-scented candle, can I still burn it next year?
A: Depends on whether there’s enough oxygen left in the Earth’s atmosphere. A lot of things can still go wrong in 2020.
Q: What is that object on the surface? Is it a souvenir I can keep to always remind me of the year 2020?
A: It is a dumpster, and it is made out of wax, and it will melt away when you light the candle. Your only souvenir from 2020 will be horrible memories.
Q: Is 2020 really THAT awful? In weighing the good against the bad, are you taking into account all these jaunty TV commercials reminding us that we’re all in this together?
A: Yes, we’re taking those into account.
Q: Does it make a good gift?
A: It depends. Do you know anyone who isn’t enjoying 2020?
Q: Does it actually smell like a dumpster fire?
A: Technically, it smells like dirt. (Literally. The scent of dirt. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!)
Q: Even though it’s a 2020-scented candle, can I still burn it next year?
A: Depends on whether there’s enough oxygen left in the Earth’s atmosphere. A lot of things can still go wrong in 2020.
Q: What is that object on the surface? Is it a souvenir I can keep to always remind me of the year 2020?
A: It is a dumpster, and it is made out of wax, and it will melt away when you light the candle. Your only souvenir from 2020 will be horrible memories.
Q: Is 2020 really THAT awful? In weighing the good against the bad, are you taking into account all these jaunty TV commercials reminding us that we’re all in this together?
A: Yes, we’re taking those into account.
Q: Does it make a good gift?
A: It depends. Do you know anyone who isn’t enjoying 2020?
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