ANNOUNCEMENT: Buy some candles or else!

2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle
2020-Scented Candle

2020-Scented Candle

Regular price
$22.00
Sale price
$22.00
Quantity must be 1 or more

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE 2020-SCENTED CANDLE

Q: Does it actually smell like a dumpster fire?
A: Technically, it smells like dirt. (Literally. The scent of dirt. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!)

Q: Even though it’s a 2020-scented candle, can I still burn it next year?
A: Depends on whether there’s enough oxygen left in the Earth’s atmosphere. A lot of things can still go wrong in 2020.

Q: What is that object on the surface? Is it a souvenir I can keep to always remind me of the year 2020?
A: It is a dumpster, and it is made out of wax, and it will melt away when you light the candle. Your only souvenir from 2020 will be horrible memories.

Q: Is 2020 really THAT awful? In weighing the good against the bad, are you taking into account all these jaunty TV commercials reminding us that we’re all in this together?
A: Yes, we’re taking those into account.

Q: Does it make a good gift?
A: It depends. Do you know anyone who isn’t enjoying 2020?