Dear Whatever-Your-Name-Is,
I understand that you are the new mistress of Manderley. Congratulations.
Your predecessor, the beautiful and intelligent Rebecca, was unsurpassed in her love for this ancient estate. But I’m sure Mr. de Winter must have had some reason to think you could fill her shoes. Are you particularly accomplished? Perhaps I’ve heard of your family?
You will have noticed the floral scent of white azaleas. Those were Rebecca’s favorite flower, and this is, clearly, the most elegant scent for Manderley. But you will, of course, tell me if you would prefer a less refined fragrance.
The tiny model of Manderley is made from candle wax. It will melt. You do know what wax is, don’t you? As in for sealing correspondence? Surely you seal your correspondence with wax? Surely you write correspondence?
In any event, Manderley is now yours. I suppose. In closing, I will simply note that perhaps it would be best if someone set it on fire.
Hmm,
Danvers