FREE SHIPPING in the U.S. (Sorry, Canada!)

Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle
Global Warming-Scented Candle

Global Warming-Scented Candle

Regular price
$22.00
Sale price
$22.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Quantity must be 1 or more

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GLOBAL WARMING-SCENTED CANDLE

Q: Did you make this candle to raise awareness about global warming?
A: Oh lord no. Is anyone still unaware of global warming? If you know someone who hasn’t heard about global warming, please DON’T give them this candle. Instead, give them a stiff drink, and tell them you have some terrible news that they’ll want to sit down for.

Q: What does it smell like?
A: Smoke, because of the burning of fossil fuels, and water, because of rising ocean levels.

Q: Don’t all candles smell like smoke? At least, once you light them?
A: Well, a little, I guess. More when you blow them out, actually. But this is really a woodsmoke scent.

Q: Woodsmoke? Wood isn’t a fossil fuel. Is wood-burning a major source of greenhouse gasses?
A: Look, if you don’t want to buy the candle, don’t buy it. No one is forcing you to buy the candle.

Q: Don’t candles themselves contribute to global warming? Insofar as they are something you light on fire?
A: If you start burning candles at night instead of turning on the lights, you’ll probably reduce your household’s carbon footprint. BUT! Since you’re not going to do that, we’ve taken the liberty of buying carbon offsets that exceed the carbon in each candle. (And all the other candles we sell.)

Q: Is there any special significance to the specific buildings on the surface of the candle? It looks like they’re representations of real-life buildings.
A: Yes! One is the headquarters of Fox News in Manhattan, and the other is the headquarters of Koch Industries in Wichita.

Q: Why them? It seems pretty unlikely that rising sea levels will swamp Wichita.
A: Sure. But it also seemed pretty unlikely that a handful of giant oil companies would manage to trick half of America into thinking climate change isn’t real, so I guess you never know.

We donate 10% of the proceeds from this candle to organizations working to fight climate change. Currently, donations are going to 350.