FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE COMMEMORATIVE SPY BALLOON-SCENTED CANDLE
Q: Will the candle spy on me? A: No. All of the data it collects is solely to help us learn more about the weather conditions inside of your house.
Q: Is it made in China, like the real spy balloon? A: No, it is made in St. Louis.
Q: What does it smell like? A: It smells like the ocean, to commemorate the time when the spy balloon was floating in the ocean.
Q: Really? It smells like the ocean? A: Well…look, no one will tell you this but me, but no candle REALLY smells like the ocean.
Q: Then what does it smell like? A: The scent is sharp and crisp, with a little menthol and mint. It smells invigorating, to evoke the invigorating feeling of having a fighter jet shoot a missile at you.
Q: Is that a real balloon on the surface of the candle? A: Everything on the surface is made out of candle wax. But does being made out of candle wax mean it’s not a “real” balloon? That's a question only you can answer.
I am sure that my friend, Blaine Palmer, with whom I regularly communicated about the Chinese spy balloon when it was a thing, really appreciated receiving this particular candle in the mail.
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