St. Louis-Scented Candle

In the statistically likely event that you are not from St. Louis, you probably have a lot of questions about this candle.

Q: What is that thing on top of the candle? Is that the famous St. Louis Gateway Arch?
A: No, it is a toasted ravioli, which is a St. Louis delicacy. But in this case, it is made out of wax.

Q: And is it supposed to be floating in a pool of blood?
A: Ha ha —you must be from Kansas City! (Where it is normal to dip food in blood.) No, the red wax represents marinara sauce.

Q: Can I eat it?
A: It’s a free country, and you can eat whatever you want. But you definitely SHOULDN’T eat it, because as I said, it is made of wax.

Q: What about the grated cheese? Is it real? I am fresh out of grated cheese, and I need some to rub onto my pulse points, for prom.
A: Sorry, that’s wax too. And before you ask, so is the red “marinara sauce.” Do not eat any part of this candle.

Q: What does the candle smell like? Does it really smell like toasted ravioli?
A: It’s as close as we could get without sticking a bunch of actual toasted ravioli in there, which would smell great at first but then gradually worse and worse over time.

Q: Does it actually smell like toasted ravioli in St. Louis?
A: Sure, sometimes. It can smell like toasted ravioli in your city, too, if you cook some toasted ravioli.

Q: Is this a good gift for someone who misses St. Louis?
A: In our opinion, this candle is a good gift for literally anyone, except (maybe) children. And people with a wax allergy, if that exists. But it is an especially good gift for people who miss St. Louis, a category which includes nearly all St. Louisans who are not presently in St. Louis.

Q: Why not make it smell like gooey butter cake? Wouldn’t that be a more popular candle scent? What kind of an operation are you people running, anyway?
A: No more questions about the scent!